So hard to say I'm sorry....

... or not.

That's part of being an adult, being a man. Swallowing my pride and owning up for some stupid things I've done is one of the hardest things for me to do, especially when those things occurred during a time when I was less than in control. You see, I'm a control freak, an extreme control freak. I don't even like riding in cars unless I'm driving because I need to be in control.

And I lose control and do something stupid, offending a friend. So the only thing for me to do was to apologize, no matter how embarassing it might be. Just the idea of losing control is embarassing for me, so this doubled my pain. But that's part of being a man. I hold myself to very high standards and one of those standards is taking responsibility for your actions. Much easier said than done...

This Karma thing is starting to blow

OK, not once, but twice this week I've been ready for bed only to have the pager go off dispatching us to a fire. The first was on Sunday night. I had been in bed reading and was just reaching to turn off the light when the tone sounded. Last night, I had just undressed, put on my robe, and sat down in my chair to do a little 'Net browsing when the tones dropped.

DAMN!!!

The guys did a wonderful job with a fully involved workshop fire. Though the contents were destroyed, the structure still stands this morning. Any veteran firefighter will tell you that's one hell of a stop. It makes me proud to see just how far this Department has come in so short a time. It's amazing what a few dedicated individuals can accomplish.

If you would listen...

... then I wouldn't have to yell.

Why is it that some people just refuse to listen? I mean, damn, it gets rather tedious having to tell someone over and over and over and over and over... well, you get my drift.

Unfortunately, as I've already stated, I'm not the most patient person on the planet, so by the fourth or fifth time, I'm getting just slightly annoyed. Well, more than slightly. Veins are bulging on my forehead and neck, my pulse and blood pressure have spiked, and, most importantly, the volume of my voice has at least doubled, if not tripled. Mind you, my voice resonates quite well to begin with, so when I start to yell, people in the next county can hear it. Russian spy satellites set off alarms on occassion.

Of course, then I get the reputation of someone who yells all the time, which is far from the truth. I'm generally a very calm person, who speaks in normal tones, until some 'tard fails to listen... repeatedly.