With a flick of the switch...

My father has a euphemism relating to the inevitability of death, likening it to the Creator simply flipping a light switch on the wall. Unfortunately, this past week I watched a young woman's switch be turned to off right before my eyes.

I've been a firefighter now for over twenty years, yet nothing prepares you for this... for the sense of helplessness that you feel as you watch someone die, knowing that there is nothing more you can do.

There was a wreck at the local intersection, nicknamed "T-Bone Alley" by a dear friend. I actually heard it from my residence nearly a quarter-mile away. I dressed and went to the scene, only to be confronted with one of the worst accidents I've ever witnessed. A young woman in a Honda Accord had tried to make a left turn in front of a tractor-trailer rig. The rig's driver didn't even have time to react and hit her at full speed on the passenger side. They both then veered off the road, striking a streetlight pole, shearing the whole front of the car off. The young woman was unconscious and barely alive, trapped between the truck's bumper and the driver's door.

I immediately got on the radio and notified dispatch of the wreck, requesting that LEO, EMS, and FD units respond. Those that heard me that night have described the tone of my voice as panicked or desperate. I think a better term would be urgent. I "needed" my guys to get to the scene five minutes ago, for every second counted as this young woman's life slowly ebbed away.

My guys showed up amazing quickly, as did LEO and EMS, and did a fantastic job. They handled themselves in a manner that would make paid departments look bad. And this with an audience of nearly one hundred standing in the adjacent convenience store parking lot watching our every move. If there was anyone who had doubted our department's dedication and professionalism, that should have been erased that night.

But it wasn't enough, it never is...