Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Winged Attack Stinging Pests

This past weekend, while attempting to mow my lawn, I was stung by some unknown creature on my back. Luckily, I keep a pouch of chewing tobacco in the freezer for just such an emergency, so I ran into the house and moistened some under the faucet (no way am I putting that vile stuff in my mouth) and placed it on the affected area. I took two Benadryl and two ibuprofen and went back to work, never figuring out what it was that stung me or from where it came.

Until today.

I check my mail this afternoon after I arrived home from work. No sooner did I open the mailbox door then... BAM!!! BAM!!! One hit to the left arm, another to the right, with a third buzzing furiously about my head and chest. I back quickly away, hoping to avoid a third sting. Fortunately, the little b@$t@rd didn't feel like pursuing.

So I head into the house and administer treatment. I then plotted my revenge. Since I didn't feel like replacing the mailbox, using the flamethrower was out, but I do always keep a can of wasp and hornet spray in my truck. So I retrieve said can and quickly dispatch the offending insects to wherever they go in the afterlife. Probably to hell to terrorize the damned.

Now I wait for the Benadryl to kick in and take me off to la-la land...

2 comments:

Cat said...

Wow - Stinging Pests - 3, DL - 1. DL WINS ULTIMATE VICTORY! Buzzing Bastards. You go boy. Reclaim that mailbox! :-)

psycho_aide said...

Damn Leroy Everytime I talk to you something has stung you. Did you at least kill 'em this time?