Sunday, September 03, 2006

Don't Touch my Willie!!

There are certain songst that just should not be played on the radio when you are driving. I remember getting a speeding ticket once while jamming out to "Eye of the Tiger." It was the song's fault, I swear...

So I'm listening to the radio driving home when this song comes on the radio. It talks about a girl coming over wearing a low-cut dress and carrying a bottle of wine. Somewhere in there she starts rummaging through the singer's album collection and starts to play "Red-headed Stranger." That's when I almost lost it. The chorus exhorts the girl not to touch his Willie. Talk about double entendre. I started laughing so hard I almost ran off the road.

Anyway, here's the full lyrics for your amusement:
She showed up at my house at half past nine
In a low-cut dress with a bottle of wine
She said this will be a night you won't forget

She poured us some drinks to get us into the mood
I reached for the lights, she reached for my tunes
She pulled out that Red Headed Stranger, I stood up and said

Don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell, or anybody else
I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah so don't touch my Willie,
We'll get a long just fine

She said she never met a man like me in her life
Who wouldn't share his Willie on the very first night
I said it's nothing personal, don't take it so hard

I don't pull out my Willie for just anyone
There's a lot of other records that you can choose from
So let me make myself clear before you go too far

Don't touch my Willie
I don't know you that well
Help yourself to some Haggard or some Jones
Hell, or anybody else
I don't know what you heard
I ain't that kind of guy
Yeah so don't touch my Willie,
We'll get a long just fine

Keep your hands off my Willie,
We'll get along just fine


That's some funny $h!t, I don't care who you are...

5 comments:

Liberated Momma said...

OMG! YOU JUST DID NOT QUOTE LARRY THE CABLE GUY. WHAT A MORON HE IS. What is sad is, there is a business on 321 that actually says, "come on in and GIT R DONE" would you really let someone do your taxes that quotes such a dumbass?

Sorry, just my 2 cents... I know you are smarter than that right?!

psycho_aide said...

GIT R DONE, LEROY

PS I love that song here is a link to frank's prfile on myspace that has the actual song for anyone who wants to here it.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=51252143

Cas said...

FINALLY! A country song I heard before you! I was going to tell you about it, but I was sure it was one of those you knew just like all the rest. I will never assume again, (about country music anyway.)
And I feel the same way - I love to get my hands on some Willie!

texas_tweety71 said...

I Love this song...we listened to it and I have to agree, we laughed so hard we were crying!! It's a good thing I wasn't driving.

Liberated Momma said...

Well.. my point exactly...I don't even have to say anything It is done for me....