The Problem with Horror

A good friend sent a short-story that she wrote to me last night to get my opinion. The story was very, very good, but it got me to thinking about the horror genre in general and Hollywood horror movies specifically.

I mean, just how plausable are these scenarios. For instance, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." This is a story about some psycho running around the woods of Texas hacking people up with a chainsaw. Now I must point out that this was the TEXAS Chainsaw Massacre, not the California Chainsaw Massacre or the Connecticutt Chainsaw Massacre... it was the TEXAS Chainsaw Massacre.

This is a state where there are more guns than people and children are taught no later than age eight how to shoot... and kill.

So here's a more likely scenario for the TEXAS Chainsaw Massacre:

(1)Psycho in mask steps out, revving chainsaw
(2)Wiley Texan pulls out his .45
(3)BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!!
(4)End of movie

The moral of this story: Never bring a chainsaw to a gunfight....

Shooting's too good for 'em...

Ya' know, some people should just be shot. Summarily executed... right then, right there... for being an @$$.

Yesterday the fire departmet that I'm in was called to a MVA (Motor Vehicle Accident) around 5:00PM. This was our third call of the day since only 2:30PM. Anyway, this was a very bad accident. A log truck had lost control and rolled over while trying to turn from Texas 105 onto Texas 321, losing it's load in the process. The logs crushed a Volvo station wagon and the log truck, now on it's side, runs head-on into a Nissan pick-up. This is a very, very bad wreck, with logs scatterd all over the roadway. Pictures of it can be seen at www.tarkingtonvfd.org.

Anyway, only the northbound lane of Texas 321 is passable, so the Fire Department started re-routing traffic down county roads and around the accident. Of course, this is going to back up traffic. And people are going to be angry and frustrated.

But don't take it out on the firefighters!!! We were out there for three long hours working this accident, when most would have preferred to be at home. Oh, and did I mention that we're all volunteers. Yep, that's right... we didn't get paid a cent for it. And we're getting cursed at by people.

To make matters worse, some jerk in a Jeep actually threw something at one of the firefighters. Bad move, really bad move. State troopers jumped in their cruisers and went in search of the dumb@$$. Last I heard, he was in custody. They should've just shot him right then and there.

The only good thing that came of the whole ordeal was that, miraculously, no one was killed or seriously injured. Look at the pics... someone's guardian angels were working overtime.

The Town Harlot

That would be me for the next two days, standing on the street corner, soliciting money from anybody that happens to pass by. It's that or I'm playing homeless... and all in the name of charity. The fire department I'm in is having a "Fill the Bucket" fundraiser to raise much-needed funds. We try to do these around the major holidays to take advantage of the increased traffic. Labor Day was a bust because everyone was dealing with their own issues following Hurricane Rita.

Now, before you go hollerin' about how the majority of people that are donating probably don't even live here, remember that the majority of people involved in traffic accidents that we respond to... you guessed it.... don't live here.

Regardless, once again I prostitute myself in the name of charity....

Thanksgiving

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to find some poor old turkey and pick it's carcass till there's nothing left. And that's just the shopping on Black Friday.

But seriously, with the holidays comes the time to step back and examine my life. And it's these times that I realize that I have a lot for which to be thankful. I've got family that has stood beside me through the many ups (few) and downs (plenty) of my life. I have my sanity (debatable), health, and sense of humor. I've known love and lost it, only to find it again and again. I've made it through all the trials and tribulations and emerged even stronger than before.

I have a job and a hobby that I enjoy and both give me a sense of pride and accomplishment. I've got friends that I know I can count on and no personal enemies that I know of.

I live in a great country whose freedoms are protected by men and women whose boots I am unworthy to fill. I can sleep in peace at night because they are out there on the front lines ever ready to make the ultimate sacrifice. May God forever bless them.

Though I may bitch, gripe, and moan from time-to-time, deep down I know that there are many, many people in this world that would die for (and many do every day) to have the opportunities that I have.

So tonight I count my blessings, thanking Almighty God for making me who I am and placing me in this exact place at this exact moment.

She Had Me Thinkin' 'Bout Sin

She walked in to church one Sunday
Had a low-cut dress on
Looking so good, it wasn’t even funny
Had every man there turned on

The preacher stood there with his mouth wide open
The deacons didn’t know what to say
Lord knows what I was thinking
Was I’m going straight to hell today

Chorus
She had me thinking ‘bout sin
All the trouble I could get in
What could be worse
The devil stood there in church
Temptin’ all us men

She had me thinking ‘bout sin
All the trouble I could get in
Just like Adam with Eve
Man I do believe
She had me thinkin’ bout sin

She waltzed right down the aisle
Sat right there in the front pew
From the corner of my right eye
I had myself a wonderful view

I couldn’t tell ya’ nuthin’ ‘bout the sermon
My mind just kinda drifted away
Lord knows, she had this ole heart a-thumpin’
In all different kinds of ways

Chorus
She had me thinking ‘bout sin
All the trouble I could get in
What could be worse
The devil stood there in church
Temptin’ all us men

She had me thinking ‘bout sin
All the trouble I could get in
Just like Adam with Eve
Man I do believe
She had me thinkin’ bout sin

by Me

Liquor up front, Poker in the rear....

Ohhhhh, I'm so bad!!! If you don't get the double entendre in the above, get someone with a few more brain cells and and IQ over 70 to explain it to you.

Played a great game of poker last night. Seven guys around a table, playing Texas Hold 'Em. None of this namby-pamby dealer call BS where you could end up playing damn near anything with nearly every stinkin' card wild... NOPE. This was straight-up hard-core poker. Real man's poker.

And don't any of the ladies start griping 'cause we didn't let you play. That would be grossly unfair, inviting you to a game. 'Cause you'd take all our money....

Plus, we couldn't just be men. We couldn't fart or belch when we wanted without you griping. God decreed that there are certain times when men could be in a group of other men and act like the animals they are. He named these two, and only two, times poker night and deer camp. It is written in the Bible (it is, trust me, look it up in Deutorexogenesis) that the sanctity of poker night or deer camp should not be defiled by the presence of the fairer sex. And any man that dareth to break this sanctum of manhood should henceforth be banished and labeled with the title and branded with it's initials - PW.

Of course, to deny the allure of the feminine wiles and turn a deaf ear to the incessant begging to be included in either poker night or deer camp gets you branded with the initials NGA......

And once again, if you don't get the initials, please refer back to the first paragraph of this post.

And label yourself TSTL...

Ahhhh.... Friday....

TGIF, FINALLY!!!! And guess what, next week is a short week!!! I've been slacking in my teaching, showing the students a video the last three days and, guess what, that's what we'll do Monday and Tuesday. Now, it is a learning video off of one of the cable channels (can't say which one for copyright reasons, ssshhhhh!) and in today's world where students need to be entertained, they're probably learning more than if I lectured, but still... I'm sitting on my arse instead of getting up in front of them and teaching. And yet I don't care. I've got a severe case of don't-give-a-$@!%-itis.

I'm ready for the holiday break. Since we started so late to try and give the DOT a chance to finish the highway in front of the school (which still hasn't been completed, but this is the DOT, remember), we've not gotten the normal days off. I'm to the point that I'm about to kill someone... really. I've had just about all of the whining and excuses I can handle.

But life is improving. The holidays are coming, the weather finally has turned cooler, and everything is looking up. Finally....

Like pissing in the desert...

OK, most should know by now that this county is under a burn ban from an earlier post. Well guess what? We got about an inch of rain on Monday afternoon/evening as a cold front blew in, followed by stiff winds that basically dried up all the water. So you know what this means? Every dipwad in the area is calling the FD and asking if the burn ban has been lifted! Oh let me think.... we're eight inches behind on rainfall for the year and we got one inch of rain on one day.... hmmmmm.... NO!!! It's still so dry you could walk out in your yard with socks on. And on top of that, we've got 10-20 mph winds that would really wreak havoc with a fire.

Come on retards!!! Use that thing on your shoulders for something besides a hat rack...

Just Walk Away....

"A faded picture from your heart
Was all you left for me.
I'm still waiting, standing here
To see what I could see.

Your love I borrowed just like time,
It wasn't mine to keep.
But the love we shared,
I thought was there.
And now you have to leave...

Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
To just walk away

Couldn't see for I was blind
The hurt you hide inside
I didn't mean to break your heart
I wish it had been mine

And as another day unfolds
Don't know what it means
Was it love we had,
Or love gone bad?
Still the love we need

Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
To just walk away

I'm still standing, waiting here
Waiting for a sign
I didn't mean to break your heart
I wish it had been mine...

Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
To just walk away

Just walk away
Yeah, walk away
Just walk away... "
---- Dokken, "Walk Away"

Sometimes a song's lyrics sum up exactly what your life is going through right at that very moment. As for myself, once again I find myself standing alone while the person I care for is walking away, with me being powerless to stop it. I know the reasons, there's just nothing I can do to change the outcome.

Here's to love, hate, promises, and.... lies....

"Preaching from the floor again.
The same old sad song.
Bartender, bring another drink,
For their favorite son.
Where did it all go wrong?
What's the use, in even holding on?
Here's to love, hate, promises, and lies...."
---Queensyche, "Promised Land"

Why can't life be easy? Why is it that just about the time you start figuring out all the answers, they change the questions. Or just about the time everything that you ever wanted, ever needed, was just within grasp... only to be snatched away at the last moment. Sad thing is, often I set myself up for these letdowns, knowing full well that my dreams won't ever come to fruition. I'm tired of dreaming and only waking to find a harsh reality...

You can fool some of the people all of the time...

... and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. Someone famous once said that, but can't for the life of me remember who. You could easily substitute "please" for fool and the quote wouldn't change. Seems that might be the problem I've had my whole life, trying to please everyone else except for myself. I've tried to conform to what the world wants me to be and have failed miserably. Well here's a message to the whole rest of the frackin' world: Shove it up your ass sideways!!! I'm tired of trying to be what you want me to be. I may not be perfect, nor anywhere near a saint, but I'm doing the best I fracking can while still trying to maintain what little sanity I have left. Life is too short to spend it catering to everyone else's wishes while ignoring my own. I make it a point to stay out of everyone else's business, stay out of mine.

OK, so maybe that was a rant, but damn it... I'm tired of everyone telling me what I should and shouldn't do. It wouldn't be so damn bad, but I find myself doing the things people tell me to do only to have them tell me I shouldn't have done that. How can I win? And doing what others have wanted me to do is what has gotten me where I am now....

The failed financial planning career. CHECK!!! I was happy being a teacher, content to stay a teacher for the rest of my life, but NOOOOOOO.... I listened to others who told me, "You're too smart for that," or "You could be so much more." I was happy living in a manufactured home, but nope, others just couldn't let it be. So I quit teaching to be a financial planner and bought a nice, new home. Three years later the career was in the tank and I was selling the home. And I was getting a divorce and filing for bankruptcy to boot.

Now I'm hearing the same things about being a teacher, yet again. Well here's a clue by four --- I frackin' like being a teacher. Yes, it doesn't pay the greatest and it can be stressful, but I like it. So just shut up already!!!! Quit trying to live your life vicariously through mine.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

And the world spins round and round...

Oh my, inner-ear infections are so lovely. For anyone not up on their human anatomy, your inner ear affects your balance. This infection has my balance completely screwed up. It feels like I'm seriously light-headed, almost drunk. Guess I could look on the bright side, I don't have to spend money on beer.

I really should go to the doctor, but I hate going there. It means taking a whole day off of work to spend hours sitting in a doctor's office to see the doctor for a max of 15 minutes, only to have him tell me what I already know. That I have an inner-ear infection and write me a scrip for antibiotics. Nope, don't think so scooter.

Or maybe there's other reasons for my light-headedness (is that really a word?). Stress from the job and the fire department. Blood draining from my head to other parts of my body ;-). Nope, I'm sure it's the ears.

Creative Band Names

Ever thought of starting your own band just so you could have a really cool name? Maybe I do have too much time on my hands, but it's an exercise in mental masturbation to come up with creative names. I mean, I've got to do something to keep my mind sharp while I labor through my normal day. So here's some names I've come up with lately:

• Chainsaw Brain Surgeon
• Goobersmooch (I really like this one)
• Retarded Monkey

I know, they don't measure up to Black Sabbath, Def Leppard, or Metallica (though Goobersmooch smacks of Godsmack ;-) , but they're mine, dammit!!! So if some band comes out in the next few years with one of these names, I'm suing!!

Speaking of suing, I wonder if I could sue all the spammers for the lost time I spend deleting their idiotic messages. I mean, do any of them really think I want to buy a cheap Rolex, some no-name stock, or that I really need Viagra (who have they been talking to). Or better yet, the e-mails from Africa wanting me to help them get their money out of some bank. I get roughly 30 e-mails a day and only 5 or so are legit.

Nearly as bad are the friends who forward every funny e-mail they recieve, despite the fact that you've already received the same e-mail from the same person who sent it to them, with your name cleary in the "To:" line. Jebus, stop for a second and frackin' read it. And please, stop sending me e-mails that promise something good will happen if I forward the e-mail to 7 of my friends. It won't... trust me....

What part of NO don't you understand?

In addition to being a teacher, I'm a volunteer firefighter. Now, the county I live in is under a burn ban. This means ABSOLUTELY NO outdoor burning. We've been under this ban since 10/24 and yet we still get calls about people burning. The favorite excuse is "Well, I didn't know there was a ban." Must've been a big rock that all of these people are crawling out from under.

Then we here the other excuses. "There's no way the fires gettin' out, I've cleared all around it." Or "I'm standing right here with a water hose." Or "It just rained yesterday."

Listen, what part of BURN BAN doesn't sink into your pea-brain. This means NO, I MEAN NO burning!!! AT ALL!!!

See, this is what in-breeding will get you....

Humans tend to fear that which they do not understand...

"Humans tend to fear that which they do not understand, and destroy that which they fear"

Great quote, huh? Made that one up myself... which is where the title of this blog comes from, in case you were wondering.

So what do I not understand? Stupidity, laziness, ineptitude, apathy.... hmmmm.... see a pattern here. Unfortunately, I don't think I have a big enough weapon to destroy those, for the only weapon I have is my mind. And it's quite small. Sadly, it's like a sword that's been hammered against unyielding stone. There's not much of a dent made in the stone, yet the sword becomes dull. That's what I feel like... dull.

See, I'm a teacher. I've been doing this now for seven years, taking a three year break a few years ago. I'm the sword and the students are stone. I fight against their apathetic habits daily. They don't want to learn, they just want to pass the test/class. They want to be spoon-fed, handed just the answers they need to pass. So they can memorize those answers for the test and then forget. These are the people you see on the "Tonight Show" that can't tell you who the first POTUS was.


Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!